Tuesday 19 July 2011

Signs You Should Not Ignore

Signs around you, thought provoking but nevertheless funny. Enjoy.
·         Fruit Bowel $ 5
·         Do not urinate on wall. Ghost lives here.
·         Marriage Hole on first floor.
·         Do not ask for directions.
·         Yu Chu Hoo, Family Dentistry.
·         Plumbar and Weldar available. Enquire within.
·         Menu Musings
  • Chikan Samdwitch
  • Grilled Chinese
  • Sweet and Spicy Balls
  • Fried French
  • Indian Chinese
·         Public Restroom:
Toilet: $ 1
Bath: $ 2
Urine: Free
·         Dangerous Bitch. Stay away from the water.
·         Trespassers will be prostituted.
·         Outsiders who park there car here will have there air taken out.
·         Restaurant signs
  • Do not comb your hair at the table.
  • No sharing food.
  • No joining tables.
  • Marriage parties will not be allowed to sit for more than 45 minutes.
  • No business meetings allowed.
  • Left-Over Food will not be packed.
  • Do not wash hands in your plate.
  • Do not spit in the wash basin.

Always read the signs around you and be forewarned of the path ahead. And if you do notice any “Spellographic” errors on this blog, do not hesitate to post a sign. Cheers.

Tuesday 12 July 2011

Stupid Answers to Stupid Questions

Have you ever been caught in a situation where you have been asked a question and you are unable to answer because of the stupidity of that question?
Many years back I had found a small turtle by the road side that had probably wandered away from its usual habitat. A local pet shop advised me to release it in the nearby park. Accordingly I carried it to the park. As I was walking towards the lake, a young man stopped to take a look at what I was carrying. The following question left me quite speechless or rather stumped.
“Is there something inside it”? asketh the man.
Now what should have been the answer? What I was carrying was the something. Yes there was something inside what I was carrying but then it was attached to the thing on the outside. Or there was nothing inside what I was carrying and nothing inside the outside of the thing on the man’s shoulder.
Then there is that typical question that one gets asked at cause specific locations like the Doctor’s office.
“Hi! What are you doing here?”
Unless you are the doctor, nurse, compounder or a medical rep here are some instant answers:
“I am here to catch a new disease”
“I stopped eating apples”
“I am cooking turkey and had to get it cleaned. I believe this Ob/Gyn does a good job”
Now one can understand if you are a man and are at an Ob/Gyn’s office which would mean you are accompanying someone unless you are in a related profession. However even women get asked this question by fellow women.
In the men’s/women’s room
“I am the new facilities manager”
“I love hanging in here”
“This place rejuvenates me”
“The sound of flushing water is music to my ears”
 I am developing answers to such questions. If you know of some typical ones do share them through the comments link.
Anyway here is an interesting anecdote. Though may be unrelated to today’s subject, but still funny and I thought of sharing it with you.
A young lady was writing a note to a legal counsel.
“Dear Sir, please hand over to the bearer of this note the brief with you. Also hand over your other brief to the same person”.
Poor guy. This sounds like robbery. What if he had only two briefs and this lady wants both of them. Is he going to be left unsupported?