Dinshaw Bamboat heaved his massive self up the first floor
of the Jehangir Ruttanshaw Hiramaneck building. It was hot summer day but he
had to be there. The Young Zoroastrian Parsee Boys and Girls Association had
organized a special meeting of its members and this was one meeting that
Dinshaw was not willing to miss. Not for the adrak pudna chai or mawa
cakes from Merwanjee but for the single point agenda that was to be discussed.
The community had fallen behind times and the future of the new generation was
at stake. And the reason for this were the family names adopted by the previous
generations of families that had
continued into this present century and had no connection whatsoever with the
present generation. The convener was Mrs. Aloo Gotla, who it seems was highly
troubled wherever she went. Most thought she was born during a scam and so was
referred to as Ghotala. The fact that
her first name also meant a potato did not bother her that much. Her daughter
had threatened to marry a parjaat
rather than a boxwalla or a gadiwalla or a havaldar. In today's times, you
could be born in surat but end up with a name like Adenwalla and not know where
Aden is. Thanks to your great-great-grandfather who once went to Aden, you had
to carry the name around and bear the misery of people asking you whether you
were from Aden. Also was the case of Aspi devlaliwalla whose family has lived
in Godrej Baug for the last three generations and would much rather be called a
Napeansearoadwalla.
At the stroke of 4, the meeting began. Aloo Gotla thanked
all the young parsees for assembling
at such a short notice and called upon the president to being the proceedings. Dinyar
Daruwalla was the reigning president. In fact he had been president for the
last 70 years of his 90 years ever since he established this Association. Dinyar
was also as troubled as Aloo and there was reason enough. Dinyar Daruwalla was
married to Binaifer Batliwalla. Their sons were married to Mehroo Todywalla and
Kainaz Ginwalla respectively. Outside of their community the rest of world had
begun to refer them as the Bevda
family.
Dinyar rose from his Burma teak wood chair and took the
mike. "My young friends", he began his address "Apre Punchayat has been kind enough to
listen to our voice and the voice of young parsee
zorastrians the world over. Our petition for new family names has been
accepted and new names will be released by tomorrow". This was followed by
a loud applause.
Percy Driver rose adjusting his sudreh kusti. "O
Khodaiji maro dikhro will be so happy. He is a pilot in aapre Air India and everyone calls him
Captain Driver. Ketlu embarrassing".
As the applause died down, Dinyar announced, "We shall
now celebrate. everyone please proceed to the snacks counter and don't forget
to hand over your coupons".
And what a majenu
feast it was. Mutton pattice, chicken farcha,
mutton cutless, raspberry soda,
ginger lemon, and ice cream soda.
The next day the new names were out.
A historic decision declared Parsiana. Loss of parsipanu
went the Jame. There were letters
from Zubin Forbes, Mini Cooper, Jamshed De Vitre and Zeenia Commissariat protesting
against the new names and corruption of the culture and minds. But who cared
for the decision was made.
And so a new era began with these modern day names
1. Settopboxwalla
2. Cuffeparadewalla
3. Kempscornerwalla
4. Ambyvalleywalla
5. Londonbridgewalla
6. Sydneywalla
7. Californiawalla
8. Cablewalla
(for limited period only)
9. Sparklingwinebottlecorkopenerwalla
10. Discjockey
11. Pilot
12. Informationtechnologywalla
13. T20walla
14. Monoraildriver
15. Dukesraspberrygingerlemonbatliwalla
16. Hiphopmoderncontempararysalsadanceacademywalla
17. Minister
18. Flightattendant
And
last but not the least
Tataskysatellitedishwalla
Note:
This article is a work of fiction and is to be read in a humorous way. All
names/organizations are fictional. This article in not meant to bring harm to any
person, living or dead, or any community or bring disrepute to any of them.
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