Marriage in a Dump

People talk of their marriages being in the dumps and I am sure that there are a whole lot of them. There are a couple of stories in today's tabloids that have literally put marriages in a dump.

In the first instance, a newlywed woman has walked out of her marriage for lack of a toilet in her matrimonial home. This is probably a first. There have been enough women who have walked out at the altar before their marriages have been solemnized on account of excessive demands for dowry by the grooms' family. It also lends the much needed support to the Government's campaign exhorting people not to wed their daughters into homes without attached toilets. Such actions will not only improve overall hygiene but also increase safety and security without having to worry about getting attacked by humans and animals while attending to daily calls. I am assuming that in the present case it was an arranged marriage. So while one may have made adequate enquiries about the groom and his family's wealth and social status, it is equally important to know whether there are basic amenities attached to the house. I am sure no one would like to be standing in the middle of a field or a tiger infested forest with just a pail of water to defend with.

The other item is about a woman whose Mangalsutra was snatched by a thief. Now a Mangalsutra is a very sacred piece of jewellery for a woman since it signifies and symbolizes marriage. It is made out of black beads strung in gold wire and may weigh from 10 gms to 100 gms. It is to be worn around the neck and to stay there till death or divorce of either spouse. Coming back to our story, we have this thief on the run having snatched a mangalsutra from its owner neck. But luck was not on his side and he gets caught. So what does he do next? He does the next best thing that any self respecting thief would do to show his innocence. He swallows the Mangalsutra and says he never took it. So now the police to whom this thief has been handed over find nothing to show that this thief is indeed a thief.

The police are not going to give this up so easily. There is at least $ 500 worth of gold lying in the guts. They get an X-ray of the thief's stomach that shows the mangalsutra lying in some fold of his intestines. So how does one get this thief and also save a marriage? Our smart sleuths hit upon a brilliant idea. They feed our thief bananas and then lie in wait.

Now I don't think our cops have a glass pot on a pedestal attached to an appropriate filtering mechanism to segregate contraband from earth. This is where my question arises. Who does the job of saving this poor woman's "marriage" from the dump? And it is not so easy. Even after being rescued, it will go before a court as evidence and will be returned only after due verification. I will not go into the question as to what else will constitute evidence. And will our woman wear this symbol of her marriage and eternal love around her neck after what it has been through. Quite a revolting and repulsive thought. Or on the flip side has this marriage only become stronger like the coffee whose beans are passed through a goat's stomach before being roasted, ground and then priced exorbitantly.

While part one of this story is highly avoidable, part two can simply be said to be a case of bad luck. Anyway this is also how a marriage can end up in a dump.