I dread attending
weddings in summer. It's something like visiting hell in all finery. If you are
part of the immediate family, you not only have to suffer the wedding day in
the heat but also attend to all shopping soirees and pre-wedding functions.
It's like sitting in a steam bath wearing silk.
The pain starts at the
time of departure from your home to the venue. You are fully draped and dressed
in accordance to your relative distance from the bride or groom. The farther
you are, the less of the finery you can be in. If you are just a friend or an
office colleague, it doesn't matter how you dress. But you still have to
suffer.
To make it easy, make
discreet enquiries if the venue is air-conditioned or if in an open ground. If
in an open ground would there be a shamiania/tent
erected for the guests or only for the part where the solemnization will take
place. If its during the day and usually in the forenoon, you should ideally
carry a change of clothes. Not one set but preferably two or may be as many as
you can. You should attempt to go dressed in shorts and a tee and change at the
venue itself. That way you will not reach drenched in sweat. Please note the
part that you get sweaty the most is attempting to find a parking space and if
you do find one it will be at least half a mile away from where you have to be.
If it's an open venue, stay away from the holy fire and be close to one of
those pedestal fans, if there are any. Pay some gratuity to a waiter and ensure
that any cold liquid being served is brought to you first and then to the
others. Make yourself comfortable and remember that you get to go home at the
end of all this. Avoid wearing artificial fiber. In the words of my tailor,
your feet will be encircled by tiny droplets of sweat falling from the inside
of your trouser legs.
Food is going to be
another misery inducing item once all ceremonies are over. Having spent a good
part of your time enduring the chants and mantras, drinking super sweet cool
drinks and eating deep fried snacks, you would still be hungry. Lunch these
days is mostly a buffet spread and very few weddings have a traditional sit
down lunch. But the traditional food cannot be avoided and you will be
consuming a lot of sugar that will eventually make you thirsty and spices with
a slow release heat meter that will leave the soles of your feet burning, not
to mention your innards.
Mercifully people have
found a middle path and are renting air-conditioned venues. But as I said, they
are a middle path as food is served in the attached open ground or a non air-conditioned
adjoining hall. So basically your suffering is reduced by half.
A long time back one of
my friends, a respected lawyer, once jokingly remarked that couples who marry
in summer have greater chances of a divorce. His logic was simple. All the
guests and invitees end up in discomfort that is forced upon them and instead
of receiving blessings, the newly married coupleis silently cursed.
If this was not enough,
you also have to gift something worth an amount that goes with your status and
that of the family that has invited you. Effectively you are paying for your
soul sapping experience. What an irony.