Sunday 25 May 2014

The Dread of Attending Weddings in Summer

I dread attending weddings in summer. It's something like visiting hell in all finery. If you are part of the immediate family, you not only have to suffer the wedding day in the heat but also attend to all shopping soirees and pre-wedding functions. It's like sitting in a steam bath wearing silk.

The pain starts at the time of departure from your home to the venue. You are fully draped and dressed in accordance to your relative distance from the bride or groom. The farther you are, the less of the finery you can be in. If you are just a friend or an office colleague, it doesn't matter how you dress. But you still have to suffer.

To make it easy, make discreet enquiries if the venue is air-conditioned or if in an open ground. If in an open ground would there be a shamiania/tent erected for the guests or only for the part where the solemnization will take place. If its during the day and usually in the forenoon, you should ideally carry a change of clothes. Not one set but preferably two or may be as many as you can. You should attempt to go dressed in shorts and a tee and change at the venue itself. That way you will not reach drenched in sweat. Please note the part that you get sweaty the most is attempting to find a parking space and if you do find one it will be at least half a mile away from where you have to be. If it's an open venue, stay away from the holy fire and be close to one of those pedestal fans, if there are any. Pay some gratuity to a waiter and ensure that any cold liquid being served is brought to you first and then to the others. Make yourself comfortable and remember that you get to go home at the end of all this. Avoid wearing artificial fiber. In the words of my tailor, your feet will be encircled by tiny droplets of sweat falling from the inside of your trouser legs.

Food is going to be another misery inducing item once all ceremonies are over. Having spent a good part of your time enduring the chants and mantras, drinking super sweet cool drinks and eating deep fried snacks, you would still be hungry. Lunch these days is mostly a buffet spread and very few weddings have a traditional sit down lunch. But the traditional food cannot be avoided and you will be consuming a lot of sugar that will eventually make you thirsty and spices with a slow release heat meter that will leave the soles of your feet burning, not to mention your innards.

Mercifully people have found a middle path and are renting air-conditioned venues. But as I said, they are a middle path as food is served in the attached open ground or a non air-conditioned adjoining hall. So basically your suffering is reduced by half.

A long time back one of my friends, a respected lawyer, once jokingly remarked that couples who marry in summer have greater chances of a divorce. His logic was simple. All the guests and invitees end up in discomfort that is forced upon them and instead of receiving blessings, the newly married coupleis silently cursed.

If this was not enough, you also have to gift something worth an amount that goes with your status and that of the family that has invited you. Effectively you are paying for your soul sapping experience. What an irony.


  1. Why not just skip the gift part as a thank you gesture for arranging the wedding during summers? I don't think twice before doing that if weddings make me uncomfortable in anyway :)

    Destination Infinity

  2. Went to a wedding yesterday. Airconditioned `hall', open air space where dinner was served. Invite said 7.30pm to 10pm. Stayed till 8.45pm. Couple had not turned up.

    Shocking behaviour. Insulting.

    Did the obvious. Walked out, had a Gin and Tonic [or three] and dinner at home.