Sunday 24 July 2016

20 things of an Office Lift that reminds you of the Mumbai Local Train

This is something that I experience every morning in the office building which reminds me of the Mumbai Local Train. I am sure that you will agree with at least a few of these.

1.      It's crowded;
2.      There is always room for one more;
3.      Almost everybody is late;
4.      Everyone wants their floor to be the first halt. Think slow, fast, and double fast;
5.      Someone will always be running to catch the lift before the doors shut, no matter how full it is and the fact that the next one will be available within a short while;
6.      You will be surrounded by sweat;
7.      First, Second, and Goods are all rolled into one. It's a one class carriage;
8.      You have things jabbing at you. Think briefcase or an umbrella;
9.      The fan never works;
10.  Nobody believes in queuing;
11.  It takes forever for the lift to arrive on the ground floor;
12.  There will always be that one traveler in reverse direction who will go up and then come down. Like getting in at Kandivali so you get a seat at Borivali and then commute to Church Gate;
13.  Somebody will always step on your feet;
14.  In the rains there will be water dripping on you from somebody's raincoat/umbrella;
15.  There will be at least one person with an oversize backpack/purse/shoulder bag which will get caught in somebody's else's oversize backpack/purse/shoulder bag and in the process break or tear your bag;
16.  There will be someone asking you if it halts at a particular floor. "Mira Road jayega kya";
17.   There is no such thing as courtesy to move a little and allow somebody at the back to get off at his floor. Think of  a Virar fast from Church Gate and you want to get off at Dadar or Borivali;
18.  If you are getting in mid-floor, no matter how empty the carriage, there will be someone standing right in front of the door blocking your entry and showing extreme reluctance to give way.
19.  There will be a mad rush to stand on the side of the carriage with the coveted spot being next to the key board. Imagine a rush for a window seat or a spot next to the doors of your train compartment.
20.  And lastly that one guy/gal who lets off a "Silent But Deadly" when you are deeply entrenched in the carriage and you realize the true meaning of time standing still.

Tuesday 5 July 2016

Zebra Crossings for Ghosts who Walk

All through school we were taught the virtues of using Zebra Crossings or to cross the street at pedestrian crossings with a light for safety purposes. Even today we see road safety messages that educate people to cross streets at pedestrian lights or where there are zebra stripes to indicate a pedestrian crossing. The crossings in my area either seem to be made for the terminator T 1000 model or for ghosts who walk to pass through the protective barriers as you  cross from one side walk to another. Take a look.

Note the pedestrian light behind the steel barricade. 

Once again the pedestrian light is behind the steel barricade. Since nobody can cross over at this spot, you might as well park your car. No traffic violation here.

Same story here too!!

Looks like a zebra took a dump on common sense.